You Schmooze, You Lose: Egalitarian Tyranny

*Originally published on 4/8/10@http://www.djmotherfucker.podomatic.com

DJ Motherfucker may rule the program with an iron lung, but every once in a while she feels slightly selfless. This set is an example of one of those rare moments. We here at the Schmooze are proud to introduce your guest DJ for the evening, The Staff of Ra. The selections submitted tonight were of his malevolent choosing. Feel the wrath.

You Schmooze, You Lose: An Imaginary DJ Set

By Jennie Willis

Stereolab- International Colouring Contest
In the 1970s, musician and overall eccentric Lucia Pamela designed a coloring book depicting the people and things she saw on her trip to the moon, where she recorded her debut album "Into Outer Space With Lucia Pamela." A quirky and bubbly album that is highly recommended. Upon release of her coloring book, Pamela announced an International Coloring Contest that was open to everyone and without a deadline so all walks of life from all galaxies would have the opportunity to participate. This is the theme of this track from Stereolab, whose intergalactic Moog transmissions combined with Laeticia Sadier and Mary Hansen's warmly detached vocals honor Lucia and her big ideas.

Lou Reed- Satellite of Love
While Transformer is considered to be Lou Reed's foray into glam rock, one can still pick up on the subtle contempt at the heart of this jilted narrative beneath the Bowie production values. "I've been told that you've been bold with Harry, Mark, and John" cuts through the soaring 'bum bum bum' backing vocals and twinkling piano accompaniment. Reed's deadpan delivery reminds us that outer space is something the rest of us will experience only through watching television.

Deerhoof- The Perfect Me
An urgent and mutated wall of synthesized noise and rollicking percussion pound out a plea to the desolate on this track, which shows that a truly innovative group can make the experimental catchy and the innovative humble.

Delta 5- Now That You've Gone
A bass-driven Rough Trade single embodying the gray longing of post-punk Britain and beyond. However there's a light at the end of the tunnel in the form of going out and getting drunk...any kind of heartache can be resolved with an ample amount of booze and good times. You're gone and we're doing just fine, thank you.

Cibo Matto- Sugar Water
An adorable shibuya-kei offering that takes us through concrete deserts and invites us to bathe in sugar. Regardless of whether or not you've taken a shower today, how can you say no?

The Slits- Typical Girls
Reggae guitars bounce in time with the back-and-forth vocal harmonies on this apt description of common ladies, who are all emotion and compliance.

Kate Bush- Running Up That Hill
Believe it or not, John Lydon is a huge Kate Bush fan. While your DJ is not, who is she to argue? What John Lydon and the Staff of Ra decree goes. There is a definite momentum to this track that can't be ignored and has rendered it a classic.

Serge Gainsbourg and Brigitte Bardot- Bonnie and Clyde
Ah, Serge et Brigitte. Apparently Gainsbourg was intimidated by Bardot's breasts. But we're not here to gossip. This track is ridiculously sixties and ridiculously French. You will love it.

Cristina- Is That All There Is?
Ending the guest DJ set is a skewed and obscenely hilarious rendering of the instantly recognizable torch ballad. Cristina's version turns the subject matter of the song completely upside down and changes the tone from bewildered existentialism into razor blade nihilism. In fact, the original lyricists made sure this was suppressed. Luckily, spit and swagger perseveres.

You Schmooze, You Lose: Jeremy's Iron

*Originally published on 4/6/10@http://www.djmotherfucker.podomatic.com

This installment of You Schmooze, You Lose is a mash-up of neo garage and old favorites. Your DJ is out of her slump and ready for action. Tonight's lineup will do the same for you, consensually or forcefully. So let's dust off the turntable and start spinning.

You Schmooze, You Lose: An Imaginary DJ Set

By Jennie Willis

The Clash- This Is Radio Clash
Introducing the Schmooze set for the evening is the untouchable, the undeniable, unstoppable Clash. DJ Motherfucker is kicking herself in the ass repeatedly for not including the Clash earlier. Never fear though, your silly DJ has come to her senses. So here is a track that is sure to bring you to your feet. If not, then something is seriously wrong with you.

Ken Boothe- Ain't No Sunshine
Moving right along, we have Reggae crooner Ken Booth's take on the 1971 Bill Withers Soul smash. This song has been covered countless times, but the Lovers Rock adaptation courtesy of Boothe makes it one of the standout versions. See for yourself.

Thee Oh Sees- Graveyard Drug Party
We are quite familiar with the surreal workings of Thee Oh Sees by now. But you need it in your life.

Meth Teeth- World Is Going To End Soon
A new favorite, Portland's Meth Teeth regale us not only with one of the best band names ever but also with refreshing lo-fi noise code violations.

Psychedelic Horseshit- New Wave Hippies
This track from shitgaze rabbel-rousers Psychedelic Horseshit proves that every generation has their own version of hippies, whether they're dropping the brown acid or renting lofts in Williamsburg. Abrasive keyboards and all-around hatred for all.

Baby Birds Don't Drink Milk- Jeremy Irons Couple Skate
Your DJ will admit it, she is not all too familiar with this band. Miss Motherfucker chose this track simply for the title. The thought of Jeremy Irons on roller skates does seem a bit ridiculous, does it not? Though we at the Schmoozer are confident that it would still be awkwardly sexy in a way.

The King Khan & BBQ Show- Teenage Foetus
Another group we need to do a bit more research on, and yet another selection that was chosen for the song title. Regardless, this track is a fun romp through the garage of absurdity.

Woven Bones- If You're Gold I'm Gone
Winding down the evening we have this last call sleaze fest from Woven Bones. You better stay away if you're a good girl, because these fellas want nothing to do with you.

The Fall- Totally Wired
Yes, yes, we know this is not the first time the Fall has made an appearance on the Schmooze. But come on, it's THE FALL! This selection is a classic track of post-punk paranoia. Here at the Schmoozer, we are always nervous too.

You Schmooze, You Lose: The Prodigal DJ

*Originally published on 4/4/10@http://www.djmotherfucker.podomatic.com

After a three week hiatus, your DJ has returned from the murky depths. She has regrouped and is ready to sling her aural assault in your general direction. I have missed you, heathens. Have you missed Miss Motherfucker? No matter, we don't have time for reminiscing. The songs compiled for this set is a musical missive describing the bruises of a battered mind and a worried heart. Good news though, the Kaiser has retreated to the enemy base and the allied troops are still in tact. So onward and upward and off into this long overdue Schmooze.

You Schmooze, You Lose: An Imaginary DJ Set

By Jennie Willis

Silver Apples- Misty Mountain
Kicking things off is this mysterious track from the late-sixties electro duo Silver Apples. The rudimentary pulse of Simeon's hand built synthesizer evokes the feeling of impending emotional doom...but not without a few moments of ecstasy beforehand.

Spacemen 3- Transparent Radiation (Flashback)
Let's linger in our delirium with this mainline version of this Red Krayola song via Spacemen 3. The band's motto was "taking drugs to make music to take drugs too," and this adage certainly rings true with the distant strings and guitars, as well as vocals dispatched from the opposite end of reality.

Big Star- Feel
Alas, reality has to come crashing down at some point, and here it is with this raucous litany from the legendary Memphis group Big Star. This track lays down the law in clear cut terms: "You just ain't been trying. It's getting very near the end. I feel like I'm dying."

David Bowie- We Are the Dead
The theme of this reflective and subdued track from Bowie's post-glam opus Diamond Dogs is the relationship between Winston Smith and Julia from the dystopian Orwell novel "1984;" However the sad realization that the affair should have ended before it began can be taken as universal.

Low- Point of Disgust
Have you ever poured your heart out to someone, only to have your words pass by their comprehension time and time again, no matter how you strain to expound your point of view? This gentle slowcore dirge from Low believes you have.

The Modern Lovers- I Wanna Sleep In Your Arms
Tension and anxiety over love was never so upbeat. The world can be a hard place indeed, so why is it so difficult to find a set of non-accusatory arms to provide solace from the cold morning? Maybe it's not that difficult after all. Maybe we're just searching in the wrong places.

Nico- The Fairest of the Seasons
Time to take a breath from all our pondering over the irrelevant. Time to put the situation into perspective. We might still be unsure, but this lilting track informs us that it's time to move on.

Thee Oh Sees- Gilded Cunt
This muffled garage track from Thee Oh Sees reflects that slight notion of hesitation on your part as you wait for hours for someone who will never arrive. Yet you still show him that you love her (or him) and that it's all you know to do.

? and the Mysterions- 96 Tears
Vindictiveness is one thing we do well here at the Schmoozer. Just remember, no matter how bad someone might make you feel, how low they drag you, they'll have their fair share of tears somewhere down the line. They're gonna cry.

You Schmooze, You Lose: Late Night

*Originally published on 3/9/10@http://www.djmotherfucker.podomatic.com

For this segment of You Schmooze You Lose, your DJ is getting back to business. The aural annihilation you've come to love has returned with a vengeance. This will not be an easy set to endure, but trust me...you will be a better person afterward. Or worse.

You Schmooze, You Lose: An Imaginary DJ Set

By Jennie Willis

Killing Joke- Tension
Starting the set off is a selection that will no doubt wake you up and put you on edge. It may even cause a little tension. This track from the ubiquitous Killing Joke will pummel your senses and make you come crawling back for more.

Psychic TV- Unclean
Moving right along we are submerged under the waters of the filthy Thames by the post-Throbbing Gristle collective of Psychic TV. Part assault, part occult, all around relentless.

Nitzer Ebb- Join in the Chant
Probably the most well known Nitzer Ebb track, but nonetheless a track with brutal beats and caustic integrity.

Pan Sonic- Vahentaja/Diminsher
You know that your DJ isn't completely heartless and is willing to let you breathe from time to time. So let's all take a deep breath and melt for a little while into this contemplative piece from Finland's electronic duo Pan Sonic. Notice, however, that this selection is not completely peaceful.

Gary Numan- Down in the Park
A foreboding and disassociated synthetic vision of a future of rape machines. You better stay out of the park when the sun goes down.

Wire- Three Girl Rhumba
It really is a crime when you think about how many bands have ripped off Wire. Most notably, this selection. But Wire was so brilliant, they were able accomplish more in less than two minutes than most other groups could ever comprehend.

Swell Maps- Blam!
A surf-tinged rollick through the delightful and juvenile aspects of being poisoned by silly games; luckily with this track we have the antidote.

Syd Barrett- Late Night
To be alone in your own mind...is a concept well captured on this track.

Magazine- A Song From Under the Floorboards
Ending the night is a track that could be considered to be a post-punk soundtrack to "Notes from the Underground." If you never get your hopes up, then you will never be let down.

You Schmooze, You Lose: Folge Neun

*Originally published on 3/5/10@http://www.djmotherfucker.podomatic.com

After a brief hiatus, your DJ is back for round neun. There is quite a selection tonight, one that you may have anticipated in a way...but hopefully not.
Brevity is key this evening as Miss Motherfucker is ready to slam you with her new set, just in time for the weekend. So let's get to it.

You Schmooze, You Lose: An Imaginary DJ Set

By Jennie Willis

Toots and the Maytals- 54-46 Was My Number
Starting the shindig off is this incredible reggae track from, you guessed it, Jamaica. Penned by Fred "Toots" Hibbert while incarcerated for possession of marijuana, this is considered by some to be a definitive song of the genre. With its classic riddim and Hibbert's soulful vocal delivery, you will have a hard time keeping still and staying in a bad mood with this one.

The Pop Group- She Is Beyond Good and Evil
Next up is the demented free-form funk of post punk upstarts The Pop Group. A song worthy of Zarathustra. This selection was produced by reggae veteran Dennis Bovell, and hints of the dub slant can be heard here. Has anyone ever held you like a gun? It might make you feel like this.

Alien Sex Fiend- I Walk the Line
No, this is not a cover of the Johnny Cash song. Instead we have rockabilly-tinged guitars meeting with electronic pulse in this eyeliner-smeared venture into the gutters of London courtesy of this early goth group.

The Cramps- I Can't Hardly Stand It
Just listen to it.

Holly Golightly- You Have Yet To Win
One-woman girl group Holly Golightly tells us that she is tired of our lies. We'll never win her heart, but at least we can dance our blues away.

Sixteen Horsepower- Horse Head
A live rendition of this track from Sixteen Horsepower, a group that manages to invoke the Old, Weird America while saturating it in whiskey, bitterness and front porch creak.

Smog- Dress Sexy At My Funeral
A dead man's final request.

Dirty Three- Sad Sexy
Bemusement. Not being able to walk away. Missing a moment by a millisecond. A plethora of emotions are conjured by this instrumental offering from the untouchable Dirty Three.

Rowland S. Howard- Pop Crimes
Ending the night is one of the last songs recorded by Rowland S. Howard. We miss you so much.

You Schmooze, You Lose: Love Your Little Ways

*Originally published on 3/1/10@http://www.djmotherfucker.podomatic.com

You Schmooze, You Lose: An Imaginary DJ Set

By Jennie Willis

Maybe it's the head cold, maybe it's the champagne your DJ has been nursing all night, but inspiration struck. A break from schmoozing was in the cards, but suddenly Miss Motherfucker was overcome by the desire to broadcast a rather dreamy set for you little heathens out there. Ah, another lonely Montag.
So here we go, a brief dive into speculative sonic sway.

Swervedriver- 99th Dream
A delicious track from this forgotten shoegaze band. Everything you want is here: space travel, rock and roll, blankets of feedback, courageous vocals....music to fall in love to.

My Bloody Valentine- Slow (live)
Experiencing My Bloody Valentine live is akin to being present at ground zero during the Trinity tests. A ribcage-shattering, epiphany-inducing orgy of tremelo saturated ecstasy.

Siouxsie and the Banshees- Last Beat of My Heart (live)
Pardon the screaming on this track. It is warranted, however. Another live cut, this song of yearning and devotion echoes a commitment to the unobtainable that only Siouxsie Sioux can deliver.

Jonathan Halper- Leaving My Old Life Behind/ I Am A Hermit
Best known as the soundtrack to the Kenneth Anger short film "Puce Moment," this mysterious double-header is an exploration into self-induced hermetic pondering.

Brian Eno- Here Come the Warm Jets
Inclusion of this seminal track from the album of the same name just seemed right. Imagine barreling down the highway at 2 in the morning towards anywhere but here.

Cocteau Twins- Pandora
Indecipherable, majestic really. Everything you would expect from this group.

The Jesus and Mary Chain- The Hardest Walk
Walk of shame, walk of blame...who cares.

Arab Strap- Afterwards
A flashback to the night before. Perhaps it's true that the best part of a one-night stand is afterwards as you watch your lover get dressed and anticipate sore thighs the next morning. At least you have that much to remind you that your memories are real.

The Wedding Present- Brassneck
Ending this set is this resolute ode to corresponding with an infatuation regardless of whether or not a response is received. Sometimes writing it all out makes us feel better. Perhaps if Morrissey didn't have his head perpetually up his ass he could reach this level of endearing exposure.

You Schmooze, You Lose: Beyond Silence and Chaos

*Originally published on 2/28/10@http://www.djmotherfucker.podomatic.com

You Schmooze, You Lose: An Imaginary DJ Set

By Jennie Willis

This installment of You Schmooze, You Lose is a bit schizophrenic. We've gone off our medication and we are in Antonin Artaud mode. Tonight's set has noise. It has serene moments; and on the same token it has noisy serenity and uneasy peace. We're going around the world tonight, I hope you've packed your passports and left your box cutters at the boarding gate. I've got your weapons of mass destruction right here, passengers. Time to take off into the stratosphere of aural oblivion.

Iggy Pop- Tiny Girls
The fractured rhythm and blues of Iggy Pop's ode to greedy and seedy women is our signal for takeoff. Swooning horns lull us into a brief tale of misguided love by the Berlin Wall. Where do you turn when the one you're with has been reduced to a shell of mistrust? Try turning to the tiny girls, the little nymphs of promise. But be careful, because you might just hear the same old story of want. The downtrodden time of the beat and the world-weary groan of Iggy Pop fresh out of a dirty spoon season resonates with boarded-up cabaret grime.

MaYYors- Ghost Punch (Live@WFMU 2009)
Next, we have MaYYors, who are more than happy to slam you right in the gut. Noise rock the way it was meant to be: difficult, loud, unrelenting. Pure meanness was never so pleasant.

Desmond Dekker- Problems
Let's relax for a moment. A classic track from the King of Ska, this Shantytown bop through money woes is incredibly upbeat considering the subject matter. Everyday is problems, but when you have music like dirt, the rest is a breeze.

Big Black- Tiny, King of the Jews
While this may seem to be one of the tamer tracks from "Songs About Fucking," don't be fooled: The trademark hatred of Steve Albini is still there, still pressurized and ready to blow. The slow trudge through self-loathing is culminating in retribution. This song's goal is to rip itself apart and then strangle you with it's pale and bloody entrails.

The Nation of Ulysses- Aspirin Kid
The well-orchestrated sloppiness of an avalanche of horns bears down on our collective headache over the radio thanks to DC compatriots The Nation of Ulysses. One aspect of their plot to destroy the world was, for lack of a better term, producing a damn good song.

This Mortal Coil- Another Day
Perfection. Passion is not meant to be overanalyzed, but at the same time if it wasn't then songs like these wouldn't exist.

Nouvelle Vague- Ever Fallen in Love
To lure us out of the spell cast by the previous track is this sexed-up Bossa Nova romp through this Buzzcocks tune. Perhaps if we could convey our aches in this manner we wouldn't be spurned.

Alan Vega- Saturn Drive
The production quality of this selection sounds a bit too slick, but perhaps Alan Vega was making an attempt to distance himself from the raw power of Suicide; regardless, we can't resist this cocaine and city lights offering.

Spiritualized- Shine A Light
Ending the night is the inevitable comedown. Swelling sweetly, J. Spaceman and company take their time. It is well worth the wait, as each respective instrument in the immense Spritualized arsenal contributes their piece of the buildup...until finally...sonic bliss.